I REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE BEEN WILDLY misinformed about pineapple. I’d been going through life fishing rings of it from cans onto gammon and indulging my controversial affection for it on pizza, so I assumed I had a pretty good idea of what it tastes like. I was wrong. I realised my mistake the moment I casually bit into a slice of freshly picked pineapple and it exploded in my mouth, sweet and rich. It’s like hearing Beethoven’s Fifth when you’d been expecting a drunk banging on a bin. It’s as if happiness itself had a taste.