Singletrack

All walks of life have a Room 101 into which they can throw the daft, self-defeating and just plain annoying, and the bike industry is no different. In this column we invite you to suggest the items, concepts or even people from the bike world that you think deserve to be kicked down the cellar steps that lie beyond the door to Room 101. Our Judge Mark will preside over your case and sentence your topic accordingly.

WORDS BY MARK ALKER & CONTRIBUTORS

Room 101

Applicant: Antony

Submission: Trail Beers

Argument: As a mountain biker and high-functioning alcoholic, conditioned by years of marketing to equate the hiss of escaping CO2 with blissful happiness, you might think I was fully down with trail beers. And there’s a lot of positive reinforcement for mid-ride drinking out there at the moment, from the beer reviews in grit.cx to Becker Gear’s bikepacking booze holster.

There’s nothing wrong in principle with stopping for a cheeky mid-ride sip. The problems come with the practicalities. First of all, while producing a mid-ride craft IPA like a rabbit from a top hat might go down brilliantly with the bushy-bearded contingent, said beer is taking up valuable space in your pack that could be used for something with more universal appeal. A group shelter perhaps, or cake. There are some people, like the redoubtable Stevil Kinevil, who go to the lengths of actually stashing beer in the woods, but that requires a level of honesty with your relationship to alcohol to which most of us aren’t prepared to admit.