FACING UP TO GROWING UP
Emma and Carly return to the UK after a couple of years of freewheeling around Europe in a van and suddenly have to remember how to be normal again.
WORDS CARLY FRAM
PHOTOGRAPHY CARLY & EMMA
Here we are. In our jammies. On our sofa. In our first home together.
We’ve got a toilet that’s a less eyebrow-raising distance from the fridge, dedicated beer storage, and a nice warm feeling knowing that we no longer have to hang everything on the efficiency of French auto mechanical engineering.
Life’s pretty good for us right now despite, you know, the ‘Rona. We’re in jobs that we enjoy and can progress in, we’ve appropriately nested in our new gaff by rubbing our butts over every surface, and my mum just sent down 3kg of bay leaves. The amount of crap we accumulated from The Grand Tour is astounding. How Travis (the van) made it back to the homeland without bursting at the seams is making me tear up like a proud mother. We’ve got books, booze and bougie bits of (b)artwork that spark little memories, like screaming at each other over directions on a German motorway or running out of LPG in -5° Norway when I assured Emma that we had ‘plenty’. Good times. Good times.
We’ve had the time of our lives over the last couple of years in the van, but much like anything else, if enough time passes, you eventually forget the shitty parts and sort of begin to glorify the whole experience. So while we’re all together, let’s review said shitty parts so as we can have a wee laugh at our expense.
‘Nope, go a little further back still...’
The not-great bits of #vanlife:
1.
Toilet
time
is
a
relationship
builder
At this point Emma could pick the freckle on my arse out of a line-up
2.
Showering
is
a
faff
and
a
half
Riding back to the van, breathing through your ears and dying for a pint makes dragging the powerwash round the back for a hose-down, rank.
3.
You
REALLY
have
to
like
your
travel
pal
Waking up? They’re there. Pooping? They’re there.
Smashing some Super Noodles? They’re there. Breathing? They’re. Still. There.
4.
’Tis
the
season
to
be
chilly
Winter in a tin can is never going to be completely comfortable, no matter how you dress it up.
5.
Money
We’re pretty loosey-goosey when it comes to cashflow.