Amanda reckons what you put on your head is worthy of closer examination.

WORDS AMANDA

PHOTOGRAPHY ULYSSE DAESSLE

Mountain bikers often have different views on what’s important to get the best from the sport. Frame material, the weight of your bike, the size of your brake discs, whether or not your kit is coordinated. In my case, I am extremely particular about my helmet for the seemingly simple reason that I have had a concussion. Concussion: one word with broad symptoms. A misleadingly simple diagnosis that could be a minor inconvenience to one rider, while changing the life of another.

Loose connection

I click the light switch and the bulb flickers on, offering an unsteady light, fading and making a buzzing sound as it struggles to stay on. It eventually settles at a dim, fragile glow that could blink out at any moment. There’s a problem with the wires. I furiously flick the switch on, off, on, off, expecting a different result, but if anything I’m making the connection worse. Do I turn the light off and leave it for a while? Do I leave it on and hope that the connection will strengthen on its own? Can it be repaired?

In this instance, I struggle my way through the low lighting, determined to not let it slow me down and hoping each day that I’ll wake up to find it fixed. The bulb flickers, worsening at night when I’m tired, but I don’t want to risk turning it off in case it won’t come back on. Nothing is as clear as it was before the wiring got damaged. I struggle to concentrate, I lack focus, everything feels like a challenge. My emotions are out of control. I’m in a constant state of distress, unable to cope with the most basic situations. I can’t get my sentences out. I can’t focus my eyes. I can’t remember that word I’ve used a thousand times over. I question my mental health, which results in being diagnosed with depression.