GADGET GURU

T3’s biggest WH40K fan paints an army of grimdark answers

Don’t put shoes on a pedestal, just wear them

ILLUSTRATIONS: STEPHEN KELLY

Q ANDREW LYON, STRATFORD-UPON-AVON

Why is the trainer market like it is?

A Wine bar economist Guru signing on, glass of fruity red in hand and Windsor knot half undone. Trainers, you see, they’re all the same. They’re little foot houses. The materials might vary, but the function doesn’t: coddle foot, protect from stones. For most people, at least those without GaGu’s fabled athletic prowess, any performance differences from a pair of kicks are negligible. But their manufacturers aren’t all the same – and some (mainly Nike) have become rather good at dressing them up.

It’s theatre: ooh look, a rare shoe. Oh wow, a hen’s teeth colourway.

Crikey, a collab design from an actual famous person or another brand or whatever. Thus ‘value’ is manufactured, shoes are bought and put away, and the collector is ready to continually suckle at a teat which should perhaps be milked only once every six months. Guru can’t blame the manufacturers for doing it. It’s smart. He’d write a The collector is ready to continually suckle at a teat which should perhaps be milked only once every six months fresh column every day if he could get you to pay for it.

He also can’t blame those on the other side. If you have provenance, drop dates and resale prices, at the top of your product wishlists, then go for it. But the market is like it is because it’s been made that way. You can covet FLOM-branded Nike Dunk High Pro SBs (last sold for £54,000 on sneakerhead hub StockX) but you don’t have to.