WINTER WEAPONS
COLD PLAY
Wrong time of year for enjoying the great outdoors, right? Rubbish, there’s no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing... and cars
WORDS OLLIE KEW
PHOTOGRAPHY MARK RICCIONI
EVEN FOR THE 15-TOG LOONIES drunk on Biscoff mochaccinos who insist that this time of year is their favourite, winter motoring is miserable. Salt-encrusted paintwork, white sun in your eyes for the 20 minutes a day that it isn’t pitch black, and a screenwash receipt longer than Number 10’s bar tab. The car industry spies an opportunity. Increasingly, there’s a trend for fast cars with split personalities: something you can wield against the elements, wrapping you in that warm cloak of electronic invincibility, with a streak of yobbo-on-demand. A winter weapon.
We headed north in search of ice and snow, but the majestic Cairngorms have let us down. For centuries this rugged hillscape has been home to the most dependable snow in Britain, with records of flakes falling in every single month of the year. Even in the Scottish Highlands, they don’t make winters like they used to. But the skies remain spectacular: morning breaks with a watercolour palette of orange and purple. Defrosted, our convoy heads east from Aviemore, away from the speed camera-infested A9.
Naturally, we required a fast Audi – the quintessential sub-zero teleportation pod. But the new 394bhp RS3 is something of a fresh direction for quattro. And that direction is ‘sideways’. The headline act for the third-generation RS3 isn’t its raucous, oversized 2.5-litre engine, but rather its torque-splitter rear differential. ‘Drift Mode’ might sell cars, but the promise of a more rear axle-driven chassis is what makes this the most promising new Audi since the first version of the R8.
It’s a fascinating contrast with the new BMW M3 xDrive – the first ever to be sold with all-wheel drive. As one of the most predictable mega-hatches learns there’s life beyond understeer, BMW’s last bastion of rear-drive über alles bows to the inevitable and grudgingly notes folks willing to part with £75k for a 503bhp family saloon would appreciate the traction to deploy that poke either side of August. Is it just me, or have we found the spec for the over-nostrilled M3 Burgundy with gold calipers finally adds an air of class to this overwrought gargoyle. Grime helps cover the rest.