A Thing
By Anna Pye
DIALOGUE-ONLY SHORT STORY COMPETITION 1st place £200
Anna Pye is working on the fi rst book in a fantasy quartet called The Turning about a world where the seasons are separate. She loves writing fantasy and that it is becoming more popular, but would like to state that she loved it fi rst. Anna wrote the dialogue-only story because she hates writing dialogue and is terrible at it. If she could be any animal in the world, she would be a wolf.
It’s a thing.’ ‘It is not.’ ‘It so is! Just because you haven’t heard of something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.’ ‘Just because it exists doesn’t make it “a thing”.’
Yes, it does!’ ‘It’s not a bloody thing, for chrissake!’
Look it up.’
Wikipedia doesn’t make it a thing either. Half those entries are made up.’
Look. It. Up.’
No.’
‘Scared you’ll be wrong?’
Don’t be stupid.’
Oh, for the love of god, John!’
What now?’
Why is it so hard for you to accept that you don’t, in fact, know everything?’
Because I do.’
Do what?’
Know everything. Ow! What was that for?’
For being a dick.’
You’re angry.’
Somewhat.’
You’re sexy when you’re angry.’
Flattery will get you nowhere.’
But you still love me?’
Not right now I don’t.’
Will you love me if I say it’s a thing?’
NO!’
Aww, come on, Lily…’
Just… Never mind.’
Where are you going?’
To get some avocados.’
What? Why?’