CAPE CRUSADER
At the age of 17, Phumlani Kango, a member of South Africa’s Xhosa community, went through a traditional rite of passage — supposedly to help him become more of a man — before escaping to Exeter on a gap year where he could finally explore his sexuality
As told to Tim Heap & Joseph Ryan-Hicks Illustration Hakeem Adewumi
As a child growing up in the Eastern Cape region of South Africa, I was never aware of gender “rules”. I used to play with boys and girls. I’d play soccer with the boys and Barbie dolls with the girls. We’d also put jerseys over our hair and pretend we were the Spice Girls.
In primary school, you could tell I was gay because of my mannerisms. But I wasn’t out, or even aware of my gayness — I had never noticed any of these things because to me it was who I was; I felt free and liberated.
That all changed when I started seventh grade. This was when we were made aware of the “rules”: boys play rugby and girls play netball. I wanted to play netball but because I wasn’t a girl, I couldn’t. My more feminine mannerisms had to be hidden away but that didn’t stop people from poking fun at, or distancing themselves from, me.