Polyamorous Relationships
Modern LOVE
LGBTQ people have long carved out our own ways to have fulfilling sexual and romantic relationships that often stray from the “norm”. Inspired by his own experiences, Jacob Alexander Clark meets three couples — and a throuple — to understand why it works for them
Photography Martijn Mendel
Dear readers, your author is in a bit of a dilemma. Recently, I almost lost my relationship. One day, not long ago, a new face appeared on Grindr: a six-packed Brazilian hunk who was in town on holiday for a week. Naturally, my boyfriend and I jumped at the chance to invite him over to get ‘acquainted’. We all shared a fantastic evening which ended with the boy staying the night. Long story short: he never checked into his hotel. During this week, while my boyfriend was working hard, I had the chance to fall head-over-heels in love and got swept away by all the passion, spice and excitement that someone new brings to your life.
By the time the boy left, we were both besotted, and my boyfriend wholly sidelined. This was the breaking point, and my boyfriend left me. Every inch of my body wanted to chase after him and say anything he needed to hear to get him back. However, I knew it would be unfair to both of us if I kept pretending to be satisfied with the current status of our relationship. Although we are together once more, we both know we won’t settle for a one-on-one, monogamous deal, but clearly, we still have a lot to learn about what we really want.
We may live in the 21st century, but there is no guidebook on how to successfully maintain a non-normative relationship, because every one is so different. Keen to find out more, I went to meet four vastly different couples, who are triumphantly living in healthy, happy relationships that break the traditional mould. A new decade means new rules… Welcome to the roaring Twenties!
“At the end of the night, I’m the one he chooses to take home”
Alex
“When we feel the urge to keep something a secret, it’s a sign for us to stop”
Guno
Guno + Alex
SPILLING THE TEA
Shortly after meeting a year ago, Guno and Alex had tickets to the same party. It came at that tricky stage of a relationship when you’ve started dating, but you haven’t made it exclusive. It’s the grey area where (technically) you can’t yet be held accountable for your actions, but you’re aware that there could be repercussions.