More really is merrier, as single dad of six Benjamin Carpenter, 37, from Huddersfield, opens up about his journey towards becoming an adoptive parent, the joy of raising children with special needs, and why more LGBTQ+ people should consider adoption

As told to Thomas Stichbury

Photography Lee Baxter

I’ve always had a desire to be a dad. I was that boy pushing the pram around, dressing up his dollies and teddies. As I got older, I found my niche within the care sector, working with children and adults with disabilities, and it fuelled my passion to become a father – and not a biological father, I must add.

For some people, it is the be all and end all. But, for me, parenting runs much deeper than that. It isn’t about being biologically linked to your child; it’s about helping a vulnerable, ‘hard to place’ child in the system.

Parenting an adopted child is completely different to how you would raise a birth child. You need to use therapeutic-based parenting, because a lot of the kids who come through have experienced neglect, abuse and trauma. It can be complex, but that’s not to say you don’t have the strength to adopt.

I WAS THE YOUNGEST SINGLE, GAY GUY EVER TO ADOPT IN THE UK. I was 21 years of age when I decided to do it.

I’ve always had an older head on my shoulders. When my friends would say, “Do you want to go to a nightclub tonight?” I was, like, “No, I’ve done it already, I don’t want to be doing it any more, I’d much rather put my feet up and watch the soaps.”

One day, I saw this sign on the side of a bus. It was an ad and it said: Could you adopt? If so, please contact – and there was a phone number. I rang my local authority and told them who I was and what I was looking for: a child, aged 0 to five, with a disability; I’m not bothered about what the disability is, this is where I work, and this is what I can offer.