PHYLL OPOKUGYIMAH ON THE EVOLUTION OF HER FAMILY

Those of you who know me know that family matters a great deal to me. I have a 23-year-old daughter who is my heartbeat and who I love unconditionally. She is my minime.

My baby girl has just graduated from university and I’m so proud. Although she identifies as a heterosexual, she will be the first to wave the rainbow flag and support me in being out and proud on Pride days, and every other day. She talks so proudly about me when asked about her mother being a lesbian, an executive director and co-founder of UK Black Pride, a Stonewall trustee, a DIVA columnist and a black woman who declined an MBE from the Queen because of the toxic legacy the empire and colonialism has left.

It’s not been all smooth sailing – I’ve had to strike the balance of being the authoritarian whilst also wanting to be approachable enough that she can tell me everything. I was a young mother, so we have had to grow and learn how we connect with each other on a spiritual level. Our communication, honesty, openness, trust and transparency is what keeps our love and friendship as mother and daughter respectful. She has seen me dedicate my life to fighting for change for people seeking justice and rights. At times there have been sacrifices that have impacted on the quality time she has needed and wanted, especially when I was studying and working at the same time.