Feminism in transition
BRANDY DAWLEY REALISES HOW MUCH WE ACCEPT MISOGYNY WHEN HER PARTNER TRANSITIONS FROM MALE TO FEMALE
When I first started dating the woman who will soon be my wife, I never thought in a million years that I would have a conversation with one of her friends about why commenting on social media about her breasts was not appropriate. Though to be fair, when we started dating, I didn’t know she was a woman – and neither did she. My fiancée, Ashley, is a trans woman. She came out to herself last November, and to me, and then the rest of the world, very shortly after.
She’s the most wonderful, kind and caring individual I’ve ever met, and our line of communication has always been strong. I’m openly pansexual, and gender has never really played a factor in my attraction to someone.
For that reason, I naively assumed that because I didn’t need to explore and redefine my sexuality, or worry about my attraction to her, Ashley’s transition wouldn’t cause any stress in our relationship. But issues quickly came to the forefront, and these were not problems I could ever have anticipated.
Back when she was presenting as masculine, Ashley never got any encouraging comments about her looks.
At best, she’d experience good-natured ribbing from one of her male friends about her penchant for brightly coloured hoodies. She was adorable, but never received attention for her cuteness.