What to expect when you’re (trans and) expecting

BY NIC CROSARA

Jesse Sullivan, Freddy McConnell, Logan Brown, Jake and Hannah Graf. I’m so grateful that I live during a time when finding these public figures is a click away. If not for this, my girlfriend Jasmine and I may have felt like no other trans people had become parents before. When we Googled trans parenthood, we only found results aimed at cisgender parents of trans kids. Starting a family can be an isolating and challenging experience regardless of gender. But there has been a set of unique hurdles for us as a T4T (trans for trans) couple.

The first was Jasmine’s medical detransition. If and when her fertility returned, we had a couple of options. We could freeze her sperm and try to conceive through IVF later down the line. As two people under 40, to receive this on the NHS we would need to prove we’d been trying to conceive for two years. Unsurprisingly, we went with option number two: “the good ol’ fashioned way”. Not only was it financially accessible with fewer risks, but it felt like the only sound option for our wellbeing. Jasmine would only have to go through the distress of detransitioning once, and for a shorter time. I had also decided to postpone my own medical transition until after becoming a parent. Going in, we knew how long Jasmine could try until she’d need to retransition for her wellbeing. The good news: we were one of the lucky ones who conceived immediately. The bad: we live in England, which isn’t known for its stellar trans healthcare. Before we started trying, we’d had medical reassurance that Jasmine would be able to retransition upon conception. This has sadly not been the case. Instead, the GP has decided to gatekeep Jasmine from getting back onto her shared care plan. This is something we’re still fighting as I write this in my second trimester.