WORDS ROXY BOURDILLON
The world is in lockdown. People everywhere are suddenly housebound and wrestling with crippling anxiety. So what do we do? We wank, of course! Or shag our livein- lover/housemate we never found remotely attractive until three consecutive weeks with no other human contact #CoronaBae. It’s little wonder that since the dawn of mass social distancing, sales of sex toys have gone buck wild. And those mid-pandemic pleasureseekers might just be on to something. After all, orgasms boost your immune system, which we could all use a bit of right now, and allow you to – for a brief moment, at least – feel something really rather lovely instead of that familiar sense of overwhelming despair.
That’s why I’ve done extensive research (both academic and practical) to find some of the best, most inclusive, truly orgasm-inducing gizmos out there. Of course, what works for one queer person doesn’t necessarily work for another, and all our bodies are gloriously, gorgeously different, but hopefully you’ll find something among this rainbow-themed selection that will get you off, whatever your gender identity, sexuality or relationship status. Want a toy that makes you feel seen and makes you scream? In the words of Cher, I got you, babe. So let’s make queerantine extra kinky. Because if ever there was a time to dive into a new hobby, it is now – whether that’s knitting, beatboxing, or furious self-fiddling.