FUTURE IMPERFECT
Tomorrow is just a different version of today that hasn’t happened yet, so predicting what’s going to occur is a piece of cake. Autocar’s prognosticator-general James Attwood helps himself to another slice
Musk pledges to keep his opinions to himself this time
31 DECEMBER 2023
Elon Musk makes aNew Year’s resolution not to do anything at all notable, newsworthy or controversial during 2024. In response, his public relations chief books the year off and orders a crate of champagne.
JANUARY 2024
Musk wakes up on New Year’s Day with a plan to replace all of Tesla’s production line staff with cyborg robots – and then decides against it, puts down his phone and goes for a very long walk instead.
Exterminate! Erase all humans! Musk plots Tesla staff shake-up
FEBRUARY
With a general election looming, PM Rishi Sunak unveils more ‘motorist-friendly’ policies, including a pledge to remove the red and amber signals from all traffic lights. “We’re committed to going green,” says Sunak. “This is just a different way of doing it.”