As told to Laura Potter
A friend told me I was a birthing companion, or doula, before I even knew they existed. I was pregnant with my second baby, chatting to her in the preschool playground about feeling lost career-wise. She looked at me and said, ‘You’re a doula.’ When she had her baby, she said I was the only person who gave her dinner and asked how she was, and didn’t tell her what to do.
To expect all women to give birth naturally is bollocks. No one gets to tell a woman what is best for her body and her baby. I describe the birthing options as a selection box of biscuits. I make no value judgement over whether it would be better to have a digestive or a Jammie Dodger. What I want is for women to know what all the biscuits are, to have dispassionate conversations about the risks and benefits of each, to take into consideration their physical, psychological and social contexts, and to make informed decisions.