A PROBLEM SHARED
Got a problem? DR RANJ SINGH and WAYNE DHESI are here to offer their advice…
DR RANJ SINGH and WAYNE DHESI
Growing up, my mum was always horrible to me and hated me being gay.
Now she’s had a stroke and I’m her carer but I can’t help resenting her and I sometimes find myself flying off the handle. The other day I couldn’t go out with my friends because I had to look after her and I felt a wave of hatred towards her. That really frightened me.
LUKE, LUTON
WAYNE: It sounds as if you’ve got a lot going on emotionally right now, with your mum’s recent stroke, the resulting change in situation for you personally and some unresolved issues from your past.
I’m not sure if you’re taking care of your mum out of a sense of duty, but it certainly sounds like if you had a choice, you’d rather not have to do so. First, you shouldn’t feel guilty if that’s how you feel. It’s clear that the way your mum acted when you were younger made you feel a sense of resentment towards her that you still carry. Even taking that out of the equation, acting as a carer for anyone can be extremely tiring and stressful.