Under the Microscope
Author James McCreet puts a reader’s first 300 words under his forensic gaze
Baudry of Saint-Marcel1 leaned over the rampart2 to scan the landscape of crumbling houses spattered3 outside the village wall, wondering what his father might do for disobeying him.4 His father could find any excuse to beat him, but he5 wasn’t going to miss the abbot’s visit on All Saints Day. He squinted and held up his forearm to shield his eyes6 from the orange lateafternoon sun.7 The pungent warmth rising from the dried grass below comforted him8 but disappeared as dusk settled in over the craggy mountains.9
He gasped when he saw a horse laden with gold-embroidered heraldry struggle up the rut-filled road to the main gate.10 The flimsy drawbridge squeaked dryly and the massive wooden doors of the entrance gate11 screeched open on this special occasion.12 When the procession entered the fortification,13 Baudry’s eyes widened as the abbot straightened up in his saddle and hoisted the papal banner on high.14 Why did his mother want to see this man, he thought,15 and why did his father threaten anyone with a beating who tried?16 Baudry pointed at the growing line of soldiers on horses adorned with coats of arms.17 “There he is! There’s the abbot.” He turned to Jaquet to see the reaction on his ruddy face.18
“You sure it’s not the king?” said Jaquet.19 They scurried down the ramp to join the villagers and Baudry stopped occasionally to wait on Jaquet,20 when forgetting to slow his pace.21 He was always amazed how Jaquet never let his bad leg keep him from working or playing.22 That was all there was to do in Saint-Marcel.23