ETHICAL NON-MONOGAMY

HOW HAS THE PANDEMIC LED US TO RETHINK MONOGAMY AND OUR RELATIONSHIPS?

WORDS NIC CROSARA

Couples have started comparing years spent together in lockdown to dog years. In which case, my almost five-year relationship is now approaching its 39th anniversary.

For the majority of our isolation, my partner and I spent most of our time together in one room. We’ve always been big communicators, but as the world around us turned to chaos our conversations turned to deeper topics: death, our fears and whether or not we would ever want to explore ethical non-monogamy (ENM). We’d already nurtured a non-traditional monogamous relationship, compared to that of societal expectations. Even after our en-gay-gement, we’d adamantly agreed that our needs as individuals would always trump those of ours as a couple.

We didn’t discuss opening up our relationship again until I started watching The L Word: Generation Q. I was captivated by Alice and Nat’s arc as the couple explored polyamory with Nat’s ex-wife Gigi. It was a fascinating watch and oh my days, the sex scenes! It ultimately ended in heartbreak, but as with most of the characters’ obstacles, that could have been avoided with a dose of communication. But where would the entertainment be in that? The show prompted us to talk about what our boundaries would be, and how we would even begin to explore this dynamic.