ACTIVIST VALENTINO VECCHIETTI EXPLAINS WHY 2019 IS THE YEAR TO INCLUDE THE I

ILLUSTRATION AINDRI CHAKRABORTY FROM IN-OUT: GENDER THROUGH THE BREXIT LENS, AN ONLINE COMIC BY VALENTINO VECCHIETTI

I’m a lesbian with a moustache and a small beard.

I used to try to hide the fact that at puberty, amongst other things, I became muscular and grew facial hair. When it happened, I was at a state all-girls secondary school, and I was bullied for the things that made me different from the other girls.

At the time, I hadn’t even had a conversation with myself about my sexuality – let alone with anyone else – but the other girls correctly guessed that I was a lesbian. Before puberty, I had been bullied for being from a poor, working class, immigrant family; for not being English enough, for not being white enough. I was used to being bullied. But the bullying I experienced at puberty was more intense.

I was being attacked because of assumptions about my sexuality, and because despite my XX chromosomes, I simply didn’t look female enough.

The bullying didn’t end there. At the same time, one of the girls also started a rumour that I was a slut. So for the longest time, I had one group of girls following me down the corridors calling me a freak and a lesbian, and asking me why I was growing a beard, or telling me I looked like a man. And another group of girls would follow me out of other lesson rooms telling me I was a slut. I was just 14.

Although I knew I had been born with differences, I didn’t know at the time that I was intersex. I had never even heard the word before. From everything I had learned in religious education lessons, and in science lessons, I believed there could only be two sexes: male and female.