THE RANKING
Four Empire writers. Eight movies. Ordered definitively.
Muppet movies
Illustration: Jacey
Chris: The Muppet movies, then. I’ve had such a lovely time revisiting these films.
Nick: I feel like it’s pushed me ever closer to the brink of madness. We’ve answered the question: how many Muppet movies can you watch in a week and maintain sanity? It’s one fewer than I watched.
Helen: I was close to Muppet overload a couple of times. And I did have a couple of short long, dark nights of the soul during Muppet Treasure Island.
Nick: I made a little checklist to help myself with this Ranking. What are the essential things you need from a Muppet movie? Two of them are ‘songs’ and ‘celebrity cameos’.
Helen: But are celebrity cameos necessary? Look at The Muppet Christmas Carol and there are pretty much zero celebrity cameos. Unless you count Michael Caine.
Chris: And Muppets From Space dispenses with the songs. But I think songs are such a huge part of it all. Jim Henson basically decided that these would be modern-day musicals, with original songs. And some of them are stone-cold, all-time classic bangers, mostly written by either Paul Williams or Bret McKenzie. But right from the opening bars of The Muppet Movie, it’s Kermit in a swamp singing ‘Rainbow Connection’. And it’s just beautiful.