Walk the plank

By Indy Lawyer

My GREAT -uncle Ben lost both of his legs; he had ‘hardening of the arteries.’ That ailment didn’t affect his cognitive abilities; I tend to the view that his vulnerabilities enhanced his remaining faculties and sharpened his focus on the things that really matter.

Uncle Ben had tartan carpet on the floor of his living room in his flat in a multi in Dundee and his Clan McEwen crest adorned the fireplace wall. Those decorations comprise some of the reasons why I admired him. The main reason though is that Uncle Ben is actually the first rebel I am ever aware of having encountered - he stored on his balcony the transmitter for the pirate Radio Scotland. And I believed, when I was 9, that Uncle Ben was indeed a pirate. If further proof of Uncle Ben’s fearlessness is required, I can confirm that he was raided by the police and faced them down so they didn’t locate the transmitter and the broadcasts continued. Yo ho ho!

Uncle Ben didn’t get out much at all. You’ll have worked out why that was. He didn’t have a carer, or an electric wheelchair, or a Motability car. He had a pair of crutches.

Uncle Ben didn’t have a bionic leg; I think his legs were wooden.

Uncle Ben didn’t have a walk in bath; he had a cloth at the sink.