WARRIOR

Allie Bailey

Allie Bailey describes how she used running to hide her struggles with alcohol and her mental health but how ultimately, it didn’t have the power to save her

Words: Rachel Ifans

Allie Bailey is an ultrarunner. She trains hard over 50-60 miles a week and she loves it. She runs mindfully, takes joy from her surroundings, from the people she meets, but also from the time spent alone and with her beautiful pup, Pickle. She’s done over 200 ultras and marathons and has travelled to numerous countries and as far afield as Namibia, Mongolia and Dominica to run races. She loves life – and she loves her running life.

Sounds idyllic, right? But it wasn’t always like this. Allie has recently written a book called There Is No Wall, about her experiences over the past 15 years, battling depression and alcoholism, and trying to run – literally – away from her problems. She has a fascinating story to tell and, although we only have space to summarise it in these pages, her honesty, vulnerability and strength make it highly engaging and relatable.

Having spoken to Allie, we’ve realised we’re sometimes guilty of fangirling the impact of running on people’s lives, touting it as the all-conquering saviour for mental and physical health, without considering a more nuanced take. Allie’s experiences have taught her that, however far you go and however well you do, running doesn’t have the power to save you.

Spiralling out of control

Let’s circle back to the beginning. Allie had been suffering with depression since she was about 14, a depression that was at times very severe and in part came from a feeling that nothing she did was good enough for her father.