ADVICE
Q&A
Our agony aunt, Mary Fenwick, offers a new perspective on whatever is troubling you
Where can I find help to heal my emotional hurt?
Q Lastyear, I had endometrial cancer and a total hysterectomy. My friends did not reach out to me in the way I thought they would; they saw me before the operation, and that was pretty much it. On my birthday this year, they dropped off cards, but I haven’t heard from them since, and I’m wondering if they are really my friends at all. I can’t talk to them because I’m afraid it will come out wrong. I am hurting not only from cancer but also the loss of friends from over 20 years. How can I move on?
It sounds as if you have dealt with some frightening and difficult challenges on your own – in your longer letter, you mention other events that have contributed to increase your sense of separation. It’s particularly tough because friendships can really help with recovery. In fact, having good friends is correlated with longer life expectancy.