ONE MINUTE YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO TROT ALONGSIDE YOU. THE NEXT, YOU’RE RUNNING SOLO WITHOUT ANYTHING BUT YOUR OWN THOUGHTS FOR COMPANY. LISA JACKSON DISCOVERS HOW TO COPE WITH THE LOSS OF A RUNNING PARTNER

TRAINING

They used to be the highlight of my week: every Monday and Friday, rain, snow or shine, I’d leave my desk at 12.20pm, jump into my running gear and head for the nearby primary school, where my running buddy Belinda worked. It was stunningly simple: there could be no excuses because she’d always be waiting for me at precisely 12.40pm, and we’d spend a wonderful 50 minutes running through South Norwood Country Park, past puddles, through mud and alongside ponds with quacking ducks. Then, all of a sudden, Belinda got a better job, moved to a different school and I was left to run alone. I was bereft, missing not only Belinda’s company, but the therapeutic effects of our chat-running. Psychotherapist Samantha Carbon (samanthacarbontherapy.co.uk), who herself lost a running buddy when her friend, whom she used to train with three times a week, moved to Canada, knows just how devastating this can be.

“Trust, intimacy and vulnerabilities are shared through that mutual relationship, so it can hurt when you’re no longer able to run with a reliable and consistent partner,” she says. “This can evoke feelings of sadness and, for some, anger.” London-based clinical sports psychologist Dr Victor Thompson (sportspsychologist.com) agrees, saying that “losing your regular running buddy is actually multiple losses: you lose a regular place to be, where someone is counting on you to turn up and run. You also lose the company, the chat, the social connection. If you’ll now be running alone, you’ll find that time passes more slowly and you’re more aware of your own thinking – which may not be totally helpful or encouraging!”