Sometimes, a person has no sooner entered your life than it seems they’re waving you goodbye. Yet short-lived friendships can be just as positive, powerful and profound as longer-lasting bonds – and bring about big changes for the better

A major misconception around friendship persists: the longer it is, the more profound and valued the connection. The bond we share with pals we’ve known for decades is special, but is it possible for short-lived friendships to be just as meaningful? Experts believe so and say that friendships of just a few weeks can set a person up for future relationships, offer new perspectives on the world and even change the course of a person’s life.

So, why do longer-term friendships hold more importance in many people’s minds? ‘As humans, the need to feel like we belong is a key element of experiencing higher levels of wellbeing,’ says positive psychologist Niyc Pidgeon. ‘Long-term friendships can give us this sense of having a place to call home, with friends you can connect deeply with, share memories and feel safe.’

Niyc, who also works as a business mentor, performance coach and motivational speaker in the UK and LA, says the negativity around short-lived friendships comes down to expectations we have towards the way a friendship should be. When that plays out differently (that is, ends sooner than we’d hoped) it can bring disappointment. ‘In this way, our failed expectations can make us feel like we are suffering, have been let down or that we are letting ourselves down in some way,’ she says. ‘I love to remember the mantra: “I release control and surrender to the flow,” which can be used if you notice yourself getting into a negative downward spiral of thinking.’