Breathe Magazine

‘Leave it with me, I’ll sort it’, ‘Thanks, but I prefer to handle it myself’, ‘It’s quicker if I do it’. All statements that hint at an inner confidence, all suggestive of a desire to take responsibility and a trust in your ability to cope. And all championed in the modern world, which, when you think about it, is unsurprising. There can’t be many people, after all, who’ve navigated a challenge successfully on their own and not felt pride or joy.
Self-sufficiency is a positive quality that fosters independence and allows you to rely on yourself. In the workplace, it can empower you to make decisions, take initiative and manage tasks without constant supervision. Outside work, it can give you the freedom to set your own path and build your own happiness. An inability to ask for help, however, could be a sign that you’re scared of rejection, or a loss of control. This could become difficult if a project requires collaboration, but you feel you can’t trust others to do the job properly. How do you avoid falling behind or the risk of burnout if you refuse to delegate during crunch times?
Part of the answer lies in trying to understand where such extreme independence has come from. Is there a wounded part of you that feels let down? Did someone fail you? Was there a time you didn’t get the support you needed? Then it might feel possible to move towards some level of vulnerability. To share a small worry with someone you don’t know well, perhaps, or ask a colleague for support with a less important job.
Finding a balance between being the organised ‘strong one’ and someone who asks for help when it’s needed will bring mutual reliance, reciprocal relationships where both parties feel valued and a greater role in your wider community. It will confirm that those earlier statements really do have substance. You’ve got this.