NON-BINARY LESBIANS
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A NON-BINARY LESBIAN?
LET’S EMBRACE THE CHANGING AND FLUID NATURE OF LESBIAN IDENTITIES
WORDS CAIT FINDLAY
“I’m stubborn as fuck and I don’t want anyone to tell me what I can and can’t do in the context of my own identity,” says Pheebs. “Because they’re not me.”
Pheebs is a non-binary lesbian, who describes the different parts of their identity as “being in tune together in a beautiful dance”. Their realisation about their non-binary identity came first, after they left a toxic and abusive relationship. Part of their experience in that relationship included their abuser implicitly controlling their clothing choices to be more feminine.
After the relationship ended, Pheebs worked out that they were also a lesbian with the help of their friends and support of their family.
My experience of uncovering the words that fit my identity happened the other way round. I’ve known I was a lesbian since I was 13, but have only started understanding my non-binary identity over the last year. For me, my lesbian identity and the ways that I enjoy expressing it have taken me away from traditional femininity. But I’m not a man, either. So it makes sense for me – existing as I do, not between male and female, but beyond either – to call myself both non-binary and a lesbian.