When you’re caught in the snakes and ladders of learning, it’s in the getting back up where growth begins, writes psychotherapist and

author Hilda Burke

On a grey day in early autumn 2020, half a year into the pandemic, my thoughts turned to a winter holiday. And not just any winter holiday, but one that would blow off the cobwebs of a year during which I had spent almost every day within the confines of a small London flat. It seemed that some semblance of a social life was tentatively returning (briefly, as it turned out) and myself and many others were starting to revisit plans we had put on hold since the previous March.

During the first six months of the pandemic, I noticed many of my clients questioning some of their choices in life – choices that hitherto seemed unshakable – careers, relationships, friendships, social lives and hobbies. Words from a Mary Oliver poem frequently crossed my mind during those months when ‘normal life’ was stalled: ‘What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? ’

One thing that I wanted to do was learn to surf. Surfing had been a goal of mine for around a decade, but on that gloomy autumn day, I decided the time had finally come. While I could do it, I’d do it. The preciousness of time, the fragility of freedom, were things I no longer took for granted. I began researching locations where the water was warm and the waves friendly enough for a beginner, narrowing my search down to a few surf schools on the west coast of Mexico. As it turned out, it took another year, but in October 2021, as soon as the country was taken off the red list, I booked my surfing holiday. In the intervening 12 months I had lost loved ones, been unable to travel to attend funerals and, like the rest of the UK population, endured lockdowns, semilockdowns, tiering, bubbles and quarantines. These losses and sacrifices made me even more determined to stay steadfast to my intention of one year before.