PROBLEMS
ask ALAN JOHNSON
The former Home Secretary uses his wisdom, wit and experience to tackle the problems troubling you
Q My only child recently got married and has told me that she and her new husband have no plans to have a family. I was blindsided, and she took exception to my comment, ‘I’m sure you’ll change your mind’ and stormed out. I’m heartbroken at the prospect of not having grandchildren, but I don’t want to lose my daughter too. How can I move beyond this?
a I think you should be careful about suggesting your daughter isn’t mature enough to make a valid choice about her future. She means what she says and I hope you accept it will seem patronising for you to suggest she doesn’t. More optimistically, the comment your daughter took exception to may prove to be accurate. In time she and her husband may change their minds about having children – but there are no guarantees of that, and you being difficult will make no difference one way or the other.