Joe Stone Is On It
LEARNING TO COPE WITH A LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
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IF GHOSTING REFERS to the method of dumping someone by ignoring all their texts and calls, what’s the word for when the person you are in a relationship with moves countries? I ask because – faced with years of my myriad neurosis, unparalleled ability to relate every subject back to the Spice Girls and flat-out refusal to ever leave the house for more than three hours at a time – my boyfriend has finally done the sensible thing, and emigrated. I know. Awkward.
Full disclosure: he’s only moved to Paris, which isn’t exactly Australia (or god forbid, Dubai), but still. Sympathy please. Obviously, the best thing about this new arrangement is that I get to channel Victoria Beckham circa 2004 – minus the trucker caps – when David relocated to Madrid (I’m choosing to ignore how that turned out). The worst thing is a spiteful minority of people assuming that his new job is an elaborate smokescreen I’ve concocted to disguise the fact that I’ve been dumped.