Sir,
Since arriving here some eight years ago I have attempted to keep a low profile and live a life like a bastion of moral rectitude.
There have been a few slips ups like the unfortunate incident involving myself and a bottle of malt whisky at the Highland games a few years ago but that is all in the past now and everyone has forgiven and forgotten except for that Kenny Morrison who keeps reminding me and says there is a video of the whole debacle. Thanks a lot, Kenny.