FIRST LINE COMPETITION WINNERS
“REALLY?”
by Fiona Holland
‘This wasn’t supposed to happen.’ We stared over the edge of the hill, watching the wavering, whistling line of smoke as Bobby’s Patented Bird Scarer scorched its way into the town below. In true comic book fashion, there was the crash, the sound of breaking glass and the shout of ‘Oi!’ We commandocrawled into the bushes until the Police had wound in their ‘Do Not Cross This Line’ tape and two guys in donkey jackets from the Council had swept up the debris.
I might have asked him, ‘What particular law of the Universe were you relying on for that not to happen?’ But I was only six at the time and more concerned at the powdered yellow paint, bicarb and vinegar, key components of Bobby’s invention, being traced back to our house on Latimer Street.
This is only one of the many incidents where my brother sought to challenge received wisdom, cause and effect, the basic Laws of Nature. To my more pedestrian mind, I was quite happy to accept without too much scrutiny that snails don’t make good yo-yo’s, kitchen knives attached to the front wheel of the Chopper will slash any rubber, fabric or flesh they come into contact with and metal downpipes should be tested before being used as a means of getaway.
But Bobby had this desire to bend reality, to find that one infinitesimal chance when all the variables were stacked in his favour, when wind speed, air humidity, angle of tilt, a million other factors all combined into that one magnificent, awe-inspiring event. Against all the odds, less one. Less the one when he could shout out, ‘That wasn’t supposed to happen. But it did!’