OUR CHRISTMAS SOS
Christmas: it’s just one big meal, right? Every year in the run-up to the festivities we’re asked an array of questions about things we’d rather forget (our worst kitchen disaster) as well as the more practical – how can I salvage soggy sprouts? Here’s our roundup of kitchen dilemmas, with solutions from the delicious. kitchen elves, along with a few other nuggets from our test kitchen.
WHAT’S YOUR WORST FESTIVE CULINARY DISASTER?
We asked you about those car-crash memories you’d prefer to forget but can’t. Here are some of the best stories – or should that be worst?
STEVE RALPH-TAYLOR Mum set fire to the table while swishing the flaming brandy around the pudding.
KATH GARDNER I was really ill with flu, so my husband and my mum cooked the turkey. Complete with giblets in the plastic bag still inside.
PHILIPPA LAKE The dog ate all the starters, including the smoked salmon.
KATHRIN KIRKMAN Many years ago, a friend kept pouring me drinks while I was cooking. We both got tipsy. I ended up in bed, my daughter dished up lunch (I’d forgotten to make the stuffing). I got up at tea time and ate a cold Christmas dinner. Never again!
CHRIS DAVIES My elderly aunt took one bite of my lovingly homemade Christmas pudding and spat it straight out. I thought, ‘How rude!’ Then I taste it and realised I’d used salt instead of sugar.
SIZE ANXIETY
PROBLEM My turkey is too big for the oven. SOLUTION Joint it. Here’s how…
1 Remove the legs by cutting around the leg where it meets the breast, then pull and cut the leg away from the body. Repeat with the other side.
2 Do the same with the wing joints (save for the stock/gravy pot).
3 Turn the turkey over and use poultry shears to cut along either side of the backbone to remove it (save for the gravy pot), then turn the turkey over and press firmly on the breastbone to flatten the joint into one large flat piece of meat. If this is still too large to fit on a tray in your oven, cut the 2 halves of the breast into 2 smaller joints.
REVEAL YOUR CLANGERS TO WIN
Was the turkey too big for the oven? Did you forget to buy potatoes? Had the Christmas pudding gone mouldy? Tell us the worst and/or funniest mistake you’ve made in the kitchen at Christmas and our favourite will win a Harvey Nichols hamper worth £150. Email info@deliciousmagazine.co.uk with the subject line Christmas clangers; Ts&Cs p169
THE GREEDY GANG
PROBLEM My brother and his big-eating family (three teenage boys) have invited themselves over at the last moment and I only have a small turkey crown. How will I feed them all?
SOLUTION Our recipe for a turkey cushion will solve your problem (see the recipe on p48 and our guide, right) as it stretches a turkey crown to serve up to 10 people.