Under the Microscope
Author James McCreet puts a reader’s first 300 words under his forensic gaze
‘He’s going the wrong way, Milly.’1 Steve Ellis grinned as she placed the coffee tray on the poolside table.2 He waited till Brad Lincoln3 about-turned at the pool’s far end, then4 waggled an empty cup at him. Brad waved an acknowledgement, swam back briskly5 to the corner ladder and climbed out of the water.
‘Thanks, Milly.’
‘Okay.’ She poured two coffees before returning to the kitchen.6
‘Aah…’7 Brad settled into a creaky chair8 as Steve – his agent and business manager – patted the morning’s mail.9
‘Plenty here, Brad.’
‘You can handle it, Steve.’ Brad reached for his cup.
‘I’m… kinda busy right now.’10
After business satisfactorily completed,11 he eased himself to his feet.12
‘Problem, Brad?’13 Yeah - back’s playing up a bit.’14
‘Pushing too hard? Don’t forget you’re… ’15
‘Aw, not the age crap, Steve!’16 Brad padded17 to the pool edge and slid into the water. His overly vigorous strokes prompted Steve’s smile… then…18
‘Brad! - Phone!’19
He spun round – wiped his eyes.20 ‘Not now, Milly!’
‘It’s a lady!’21
‘Well… okay. Just get her number – huh?’22 He resumed his swim.23
Milly soon came back.24 ‘I told her you’re in the pool! She said to ask if you’ve still got the costume!’25 Brad slowed to a foaming halt.26 ‘Got… what?’27
‘The costume!’