MEAN MACHINES
CINEMA’S BIGGEST METAL DOUCHEBAGS
HAL 9000
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
1968
The original AI-hole. When catty computer HAL isn’t murdering his passengers, he’s patronising them in an infuriatingly calm pass-agg tone. Having killed his crewmates, he even has the nerve to tell Dr Bowman, “I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress-pill and think things over.” Insufferable.