FUNNY OLD WORLD
fow@private-eye.co.uk
£ “People have often told me that I look like a gang member,” Shazali Sulaiman told reporters in the city of Ipoh (NW Malaysia), “so eventually I thought I should turn my tough guy look into a formal business venture. Since January 8th, I have been advertising myself as a ‘villain for hire’, offering a service designed to help men step into the hero role for their partner. ‘Are you tired of your partner thinking you are weak? For a reasonable fee, I can help you prove them wrong’. That’s my advertising pitch.
“One recent case was when a man hired me at a shopping centre. At a prearranged time, he went to the bathroom, while I pretended to harass his girlfriend – he then returned and confronted me like a hero. All a client needs to do is provide the time and location, and I will show up, harass their partner, and they can prove their strength by taking me down. The service costs 100 ringgit (£17) on weekdays, and 150 ringgit at weekends, with additional fees for clients outside the city. Some critics have raised concerns about the legality of my service, regarding potential sexual harassment, but I assure everyone that nobody gets harmed during the confrontation. It is all just an act, like WWE. No one gets hurt, I am the only loser.” (The Latin Times, 28/1/25. Spotter: David Krassner)