CALLED TO ORDURE
AMID the weeds of the Planning and Infrastructure Bill’s report stage in the Lords, peers debated the plight of swifts. On behalf of the absent Zac Goldsmith, who had buggered off on honeymoon (he was said to be “detained elsewhere”), Lord Randall (Conservative) moved an amendment to oblige developers to insert one “swift brick” nesting box in the walls of new houses.
“Swifts are migrants that come here quite late, having flown all the way from sub-Saharan Africa or the Congo Basin,” explained Randall, in whose beard many a songbird could settle. “They do not stop flying. They mate on the wing.” When they reached Britain they were, understandably, a little weary and in need of somewhere to nest. Modern building techniques had sealed many of their preferred spots. Why would the government not agree to this small amendment? “I have heard it whispered,” said Randall archly, “that there is lobbying from developers. I cannot believe that that could in any way influence a government…”