A Tank Driver writes
Vlad ‘Mad’ Putin, Tank No: ZZZZ
“WHAT’S that Donald, course I was listening – I got you on the hands free – you were saying?... Peace. Yeah – that’s what I want. Couldn’t be more committed to peace. Love a bit of peace me. Peace is my favourite thing. BOOM! What was that? Just a big pothole. Used to be a hospital. Three seconds ago… The Vatican? For peace talks? I suppose I could go there. Let me check the sat nav. Ooh. Looks like the quickest route – as the drone flies – is via Kyiv. May take a few more years though. How many? Shall we say 21?... What? Me? Stringing you along? You? Stringing? Along? I wouldn’t string you along – that’d be stringing you along. Why would I want to string you along – that would just be a waste of your and my time. And mine and yours. In other words, a chronological procrastination ploy unworthy of both of us. Anyway – tell me more about your new bigly plane… Wow that’s fascinating… Now tell me about your golf again… And the plane again… Nah. Nah. Keep going… Got its own solid gold hot tub? Sounds classy… Oh will you look at that. Lost track of time. I’ve got to be somewhere else – namely Finland. So, I’ve got a minute left out of this two-hour chinwag to get down to brass tacks and agree a memorandum on an agreement to have an agreement on a memorandum about the peace talks and… BOOM!... Hello? Hello?